This is what it takes to get me out of semi retirement. Or at least a holding pattern until I can be sure my children stop eating fibreglass and setting off fire extinguishers in closets (true story. At least the fire extinguisher part).
Apparently my Goblin Shark has been making the rounds on various sites like i09, reddit, I ****ing love science, etc. 99% of the time uncredited. At first it was pretty entertaining watching people duke it out over whether it was a real fish or not (there's that pedantic sammich holding fist-fight I've always wanted to see. Well not so much pedantic, it is the internet after all...), and I liked the simple fact that people were learning just that much more about our oceans. It's also very flattering and shocking to find out that something I made (me!!) has grown up and taken on a life of its own. I am amazed and flabbergasted. But as of yesterday I do have to admit I started to get annoyed.
It's not so much the fact that I'm not being credited here, it's the fact that there is misinformation being spread, which I kind of hate. For example, someone who has never seen a picture of a real Goblin Shark, may believe the meme stating my handsome fellow is dead. No. He is not dead. He is also not a baby, super old, dessicated, taxidermied, photoshopped, faked, your mother in law/ex wife/former girlfriend, etc. He is, as some astute folks have figured out, paper mache. I made him in my art room with a lot of newspapers, cloth, blood, sweat, tears and gin. And unless the Blue Fairy sneaks in at night to bring him to life, he never has been, and never will be 'real'.
He is a piece of art that I made. I did image searches, I made sketches, I planned him out and then made him. With my hands. And not on a computer. And I am not a vicious beast intent on destroying little-known species in my quest to destroy the Earth (I always knew I had it in me!). Nor am I a photoshop priestess/photoshop nube, jerk intent on fooling people into thinking this is real, murderer, Conservative jack-ass, etc, etc. I am an artist. I make interpretations of things I love. Or at least I do when I'm not reading stories, wiping bums, in Zumba classes, or drinking heavily. Art and scotch don't mix. I can't afford to lose that much blood.
So really, if I was credited with having made Mssr Shark de Goblin, it would clear up a LOT of erroneous statements being made about me and Goblin Sharks in general. Plus, it's polite.
For my friends who are fighting a losing battle trying to get me some credit, and for those who figured out he's a paper mache sculpture I give you this- a picture of me in an apron, on the trampoline with a sprinkler, holding a dessicated baby goblin shark that has been completely photoshopped.
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| Suck it, Photoshop! |
