I made it to You Tube and didn't even have to take my shirt off.

"Cuz fishermen do that"

Oh dear. Here it is- the link to me making a puffer fish.
The sound is a few frames off for some reason, but that's okay because I apparently speak like William Shatner and have a tendency to crush words together so you can't understand them anyway.
The editors were very kind to me and removed some of the things I was the most worried about, but I still managed to look like a 14 year old eyebrowless monkey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVlaJTIx5XA

As Spock said, "The pain, the PAIN!"

What to do, what to do

I suppose I should post something, it's been a while after all.

I'll post a pic of a Pacific Giant Octopus I did a while ago. Octopuses (yeah, yeah. I know. "Duh, it's 'octopi', you strange fish-making woman with Sammy Hagar hair.")...

Well, Smarty-Pants, according to Fowler’s Modern English Usage, “the only acceptable plural in English is octopuses...". It says something about the origin of the word being Greek, rather than Latin so the classic plural would be 'octopodes' and more commonly, 'octopuses'.
Whatever. I don't care, octopuses are awesome for many more reasons than just starting pedantic white lab-coated discourses (and hopefully fist-fights while clutching half eaten cheese sammiches) between bespectacled scholars over the correct plural form during the lunch break. None of which I'm going into right now because I'm grumpy and don't want to be on the wretched computer at the moment.

Oh, and here's a Nudibranch. Because they crack me up.

Okay, it's not my fault.

I'm just putting that out there.

They made me do it. I really don't smile half as much as that or CHECK MY HAIR before making large ugly fish. Nor do I do crazy camera angles, quite as many bad puns, or have that much junk in the trunk. I was the new mother of a 2 month old when they filmed it. I had to take breaks every once in a while to go feed Maddie as it took about 8 hours to shoot that 5 minutes on screen.
Oh yeah, and here's the big one- I'm really not that much of an idiot! I know, hard to believe. That's the part that scares me the most, and sends me fully clothed, huddled in the fetal position into the shower. I'm terrified I'm going to come across like the World's Largest Idiot- which I am, I'd just prefer less people knew that. And being as I have 2 fans that read this, I'm assuming they don't care, anyway.

What the heck am I talking about?

I'm talking about the filming of my spot on HGTV's "That's Clever". To be shown.... February 5, 2009 at 8:00 am e/p. No publicity is bad publicity.... I hope? Maybe?


Shot almost 2.5 years ago in the dining room of our place in San Fran, it will now be... gracing... a television set near you. That is, if you live in the US. It's 5 minutes of me acting like a complete twit making a puffer fish. So if either of my fans were interested- this is theoretically how I do it. Now you can do it yourself- if you have the will to take the 8 hours involved to do so.
I'd say 'enjoy', but I fear you may just want to hurl things at me and your television in order to make the pain stop. And yes, my voice is that nasal. I'm a catch! I don't know how Steve does it.

Oh, and for those of you in Socialist Canada who don't get the program, I'll see what I can do about maybe getting a friend in the Non-Socialist US to scam me a copy. Because I won't have seen it either.

Headlines-

-Octopus ravages local optometrist office.

-Eight tentacles of terror run amok on city unprepared for 'Act of God'. Unless that god happens to be Cthulhu.

-Titans of Pain invade Yaletown. Small dogs in sweaters and dog-carriages disappear. Supposedly eaten.

-Woman puts 'jelly' back in jellyfish.

Okay, I'm done.

Happy Hallowe'en!

Not just my favourite holiday, but my anniversary with my favourite husband (unlike my least favourite husband. He's a jerk.).
Today is ten years after getting married in Vegas. And while as awesome as a $25.00 pawn shop wedding ring is (with the previous owners' initials still inscribed), my gift from Steve this year is even cooler!

Give a shark a hand

Sharks make me happy. They're such a prehistoric animal, move like poetry, and are an incredible predator. Modern sharks have been around for about 100 million years and the design is so perfect, it hasn't really changed that much since then! They are stunningly gorgeous and sadly very misunderstood and vilified. Thanks, Spielberg. You big Jerk.

So today I am glorifying the fabulous Hammerhead.
Let's get the "Oh, but Adelle, you're so mean! Sharks BITE people. I won't go in the ocean because there are SHARKS there and I'll get eaten!" nonsense aside first.

Stop flattering yourself, sissy-pants! Sure, you may think you look delicious and maybe you are, but the actual chance of you getting bitten is insultingly small. You're more likely to do die from an attack from the LHHL (the Lightning Hates Humans League), than a shark attack. While numbers vary per year, on average there are about 100 shark attacks worldwide per year, and up to 10 of those are fatal. Cunning and malicious destroy-all-humans lightning strikes, however, cause almost 100 deaths per year in the USA ALONE.

I'll take my chances with the sharks, thank you very much. Now that you've been de-sissified and are ready to head back to the water, we'll get back to Hammerheads.

Of the 9 species of Hammerhead Sharks, there are 3 that have been known to nibble on the unwary albeit possibly delicious human once in a while. The Scalloped, Great, and Smooth hammerheads can be dangerous, but not even in the same ball-park as how dangerous humans are to sharks. The Great and Scalloped are on the World Conservation Union's endangered list, and the Smalleye is listed as vulnerable. Now, if you are saying in a whiny voice, "But Adelle! You're so mean! Why should I care if the ocean's largest predators and integral part of the ecosystem is being systematically destroyed by overfishing, finning, and by-catch?", I'm going to slap you and not dignify that with a response. Scientists have been giving the reasons for exactly that for years and nothing I can say can help save the human race if you haven't been paying attention.

Hammerhead Sharks are so named for the flattened hammer shape of their heads that scientists postulate has developed for sensory reception, maneuverability, and/or prey manipulation. And before you say, "But Adelle! They don't even know what it's for?!", shut-up. You wouldn't even get in the water five minutes ago, and now you expect biologists to know everything about sharks? Sheesh. YOU get in there and study them, smarty-pants.

A couple things that make these fish so special is the fact they use internal fertilization (no, I am NOT explaining that to you) unlike other sharks. The female will have a litter of 20-40 live pups after a gestation period of 10-12 months. And what is crazy is, there are rare but documented cases (backed up with DNA evidence) of female sharks reproducing asexually (parthenogenesis). Yes, I will explain that to you- a male isn't required to fertilize the eggs in order for young to develop. Very handy when stuck in an aquarium by yourself.

Hammerheads have the same range of hearing as us, with special emphasis on low-range frequencies, such that a wounded fish might make. They can detect electrical currents in the water that are one-half BILLIONTH of a volt. That's rather small. Kind of like a AA battery with its terminals almost a mile away. Very handy when hunting for stingrays, shrimp, crabs, snails, fish and smaller sharks.

There are so many other cool things about Hammerheads that I could blab on all day, but I need to clean my kitchen. So do a shark a favour and give them your helping hand. Don't eat shark fin soup, shark meat, wear shark leather, or take vitamins with shark liver oil in them. Or if you really have to partake of those things, try to limit your consumption a bit. The oceans would really appreciate it.

Happy Hallowe'en! Oh, and watch out for lightning.

Goblin Sharks

And speaking of bizarre fish, here's one of my favourites- the Goblin Shark. Described by people lucky enough to have seen one as almost "bubblegum pink", these deep sea sharks are identifiable by their extendable jaws and sharp bristling teeth. They sport a blade shaped snout that is much longer than most sharks, and very obvious when the jaws are protruding. They can reach a size of over 10 feet long and live about 200 metres deep. They live on deep sea squid, crabs and fish.

This is one of the first fish I made, but also one of the most handsome. One day he'll make a lucky crazy-person very happy.